Results tagged ‘ holiday ’

Phillies 2013 New Year Resolutions

In what has become an annual tradition, I usually post New Year Resolutions for Phillies fans at about this time.  But it seems that as a fan base, most of us do seem to have our act together.  As for the 2012 Phillies team, the same cannot be said.  They need some serious help.

So this year, I would like to propose a set of New Year Resolutions for the team instead:

Jimmy Rollins – I resolve to stop swinging for the fences and hitting pop-ups.  I will stick to line-drives and grounders.

Roy Halladay, Chase Utley & Ryan Howard – We all resolve to be healthy, productive members of this team!  No more bum shoulders, ankles or knees!

Kyle Kendrick – I will not mope when I feel disrespected and just keep pitching.  I will put on my big-boy pants and wear them all year long.

Carlos Ruiz – My goal is to repeat my 2012 performance, without the performance-enhancing ADHD pills, thereby regaining the respect I lost after getting suspended.

Ben Revere – I resolve to hit my first major league home run in Citizens Bank Park.  If Juan Pierre can hit a homer here, then so shall I!

Ruben Amaro Jr. – No matter how tempted I am to save money, I will not sign former Phillies relief pitcher Ugueth Urbina.  Yes, he paid his debt to society.  However, he did attempt to murder 5 ranch hands by setting them on fire and chopping at them with a machete.  Perhaps we should pass on this one.

Domonic Brown – I resolve to reach my full potential this year and prove I belong in the big leagues, preferably by May.

Mike Adams – I resolve to be fully recovered from surgery and return to my All-Star relief-pitcher form in order to be deemed worthy of my giant $12 million contract.

Charlie Manuel – I will go out on top this year!  World Series or bust…

I wish you all a safe and happy New Year!

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The Phillies Night Before Christmas 2012

 

The Phillies Night Before Christmas

 

Twas the night before Christmas, when all over the field,

Not a player was stirring, as the 2012 season had been sealed.

The bats were stacked in the clubhouse with care,

In hopes that a Championship soon would be there.

-

The Phillies were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of trophies danced in their heads.

And Charlie with his new line-up tucked under his cap,

Had just settled down for a long off-season nap.

-

When outside of his house, there arose such a clatter,

Charlie sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he stumbled, half asleep,

Having woke from a nightmare of his bullpen being taken deep.

-

The moonlight lit up the old ‘08 trophy, causing it to glow,

Giving the illusion of a night game on the grass down below.

When what to his wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh filled with ballplayers in good cheer.

-

With his General Manager and ace pitchers in tow,

He knew in a moment it must be Ruben Amaro.

More rapid than the trade deadline, forward they all came,

And he grumbled, and shouted, and called them by name!

-

“Now, Hamels! Now, Howard! Now, Rollins and Utley!

On, Brown! On, Halladay! On, Papelbon and Lee!

To the top of the National League! To the top of them all!

Now run away! Run away! And play some baseball!”

-

And then, in a twinkling, Charlie heard, “You The Man!”

From the shouting and cheering of each happy fan.

As he drew in his head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney, Ryan Howard came with a bound.

-

He was dressed all in pinstripes, from his head to his foot,

Having tossed his old ankle brace, which was tarnished, with ashes and soot.

But he arrived with a smile and Charlie gave him a pat on his back,

Surely the fully healed Achilles would put him right back on track.

-

Howard spoke many words, and after tightening his shoe lace,

He welcomed Michael Young, who will now man third base.

And with thunderous joy, the fans clapped their hands,

With a few shiny new toys, 2013 is sure to be grand!

-

Howard then sprang to the sleigh, and to his team gave a call,

“You guys are the best ballplayers of all!”

But Charlie heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

“Happy Holiday’s to all and to all a good night!”

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Photoshopping and re-wording by Jenn Zambri Photography

The Phillies Night Before Christmas 2011

The Phillies Night Before Christmas

 

Twas the night before Christmas, when all over the field,

Not a player was stirring, as the 2011 season had been sealed.

The bats were stacked in the clubhouse with care,

In hopes that a Championship soon would be there.

-

The Phillies were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of trophies danced in their heads.

And Ruben with his new closer contract tucked under his cap,

Had just settled down for a long off-season nap.

-

When out in Charlie’s house, there arose such a clatter,

He sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he stumbled, half asleep,

Having woke from a nightmare of his bullpen being taken deep.

-

The moonlight lit up the old ’08 trophy, causing it to glow

And gave the illusion of a night game on the grass down below.

When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh filled with ballplayers in good cheer.

-

With his General Manager, ace pitchers in tow,

He knew in a moment it must be Ruben Amaro.

More rapid than the trade deadline, forward they all came,

And he grumbled, and shouted, and called them by name!

-

“Now, Utley! Now, Howard! Now, Rollins and Victorino!

On, Ruiz! On, Halladay! On, Pence and Polanco!

To the top of the National League! To the top of them all!

Now run away! Run away! And play some baseball!”

-

And then, in a twinkling, Charlie heard, “You The Man!”

From the shouting and cheering of each happy fan.

As he drew in his head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney J-Roll came with a bound.

-

He was dressed all in pinstripes, from his head to his foot,

Having tossed his old contract, which was tarnished, with ashes and soot.

But he arrived with a smile and Charlie gave him a pat on his back,

Surely the new 3-year deal would put this team right back on track.

-

J-Roll spoke many words, but getting on with his job,

He welcomed Jonathan Papelbon, whose new deal has him living high on the hog.

And with thunderous joy, the fans clapped their hands,

With a few shiny new toys, 2011 is sure to be grand!

-

J-Roll then sprang to the sleigh, and to his team gave a call,

“You guys are the best ballplayers of all!”

But Charlie heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

“Happy HoLEEday’s to all and to all a good night!”

-

Re-wording & photoshopping by Jenn

The Phillies Night Before Christmas 2009

The Phillies Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all over the field,
Not a player was stirring, as the 2009 season had been sealed.
The bats were stacked in the clubhouse with care,
In hopes that another Championship soon would be there.

The Phillies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of trophies danced in their heads.
And Ruben with his new Halladay contract tucked under his cap,
Had just settled down for a long off-season nap.


When out in Charlie’s house, there arose such a clatter,
He sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he stumbled, half asleep,
Having woke from a nightmare of his bullpen being taken deep.

The moonlight lit up the National League trophy, causing it to glow
And gave the illusion of a night game on the grass down below.

When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh filled with ballplayers in good cheer.

With a year-old GM, ace pitcher in tow,
He knew in a moment it must be Ruben Amaro.
More rapid than the trade deadline, forward they all came,
And he grumbled, and shouted, and called them by name!

Now, Utley! Now, Howard! Now, Rollins and Victorino!
On, Ruiz! On, Werth! On, Ibanez and Polanco!
To the top of the National League! To the top of them all!

Now run away! Run away! And play some baseball!”

And then, in a twinkling, Charlie heard, “You The Man!”
From the shouting and cheering of each happy fan.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Roy Halladay came with a bound.

He was dressed all in pinstripes, from his head to his foot,
Having tossed his old Jays uniform, which was tarnished, with ashes and soot.

But he arrived with a smile and Charlie gave him a pat on his back,
Surely a new ace would put this team right back on track.

Roy spoke many words, but getting on with his job,
He showed off his great arm, getting praise from the mob.
And in their joy, the fans clapped their hands,
With Halladay in Philly, 2010 is sure to be grand!


Roy then sprang to the sleigh, and to his new team gave a call,
“You guys are the best ballplayers of all!”
But Charlie heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“Happy Halladay’s to all and to all a good night!”

***Written by:  Jenn Zambri-Dickerson*** 

 

Have a safe and Happy Holiday everyone!!

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