Phillies Lose 5th Straight in Horror Movie Style

You know how when you are watching a scary movie you sometimes get really uncomfortable and have to cover your eyes?  Watching the 2012 Phillies has been a lot like that.  This is not your average B-movie either.  It is a full-fledged, $175 million dollar blockbuster horror show.

The terror continued last night in a dreadful 6-5 defeat against the Dodgers for the Phillies’ 5th straight loss.  This mostly powerless offense actually had 3 home runs in the game and they still lost anyway.  It does not get much more frightening than this.

Bloodcurdling screams could be heard from fans in the stands when Kyle Kendrick blew a 4-2 lead in the 6th inning.  Kendrick continued his Jekyll and Hyde routine, going 5.2 innings with 5 runs allowed.  When Kendrick steps on the mound, you never know if you might get good Kyle or evil Kyle.  And just when you think good Kyle might prevail, a masked man yielding a hatchet emerges from the darkness and…

Oh, sorry, I forgot I was watching a baseball game for a minute and not a “Friday the 13th” marathon.

Although, the horror show theme did keep creeping up rather consistently throughout the game.  In the 5th inning, we watching Freddy Galvis solemnly walk to the dugout in the middle of his at-bat.  He is now on the DL with a back strain, probably the result of an amazing, leaping and slightly backwards catch he made earlier in the game.

Then in the 6th, as Kendrick was blowing the lead, he added to the terror by walking a run home.

In the 8th, Hunter Pence grounded into a double play to end the inning.

The final horror came in the 9th as Jim Thome stood at home plate and watched strike 3 go by.  Then Brian Schneider popped out to end the game.

Charlie Manuel said it best during a post-game interview.  “Everything about our team is kind of whacked up,” Manuel said afterward.  No kidding.

The Phillies have one more shot against the Dodgers this afternoon to attempt to avoid total and utter humiliation.  Cole Hamels is pitching, but even that no longer inspires confidence.  The Phillies are now going to be on their 3rd string 2nd baseman and have half a minor league team playing in the majors.  The offense is terrible and the light at the end of tunnel is growing dimmer after each loss.

Come to think of it, maybe watching a horror movie instead is not such a bad idea at this point.  At least we know that is make-believe.  The Phillies are far too real right now.

Game time is 1:05pm today if you really feel the need to watch the disaster continue to unfold.

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Photoshopping by Jenn Zambri Photography

2 Comments

At this point it seems like I’m watching a snuff film. Every day.

This season is more of a horror-comedy. Last night I just started laughing when Brian Schneider came up to bat representing the last out after Jim Thome and Mike Fontenot already had came up.

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