Cliff Lee Imposter Tanks Against Nats?
Who was that pitcher on the mound for the Phillies Tuesday night? Certainly it could not be Cliff Lee. At least not the one we are used to. He must be an imposter!
After a careful review of the statistics, the mystery Lee went only 5.1 innings, allowing six runs on seven hits to a last place Nationals team. He also walked three batters and gave up two home runs.
Upon witnessing this disastrous outing, I can come to only one conclusion: Cliff Lee has been abducted by aliens. They are conducting a number of probing experiments on him in order to clone the near-perfect pitcher. This totally explains why an imposter was sent in his place to give up six runs in less than six innings.
Perhaps many do not agree with my assessment. However, I assure you that the alternative is much more difficult to swallow. Cliff Lee had a horrible game? Against a crappy team?? No way. Aliens…I tell you, it must be aliens.
On the other hand, many pitchers sucked without alien intervention. Danys Baez has been returned to earth after a spectacular five innings in last week’s 19-inning marathon. On this night, Baez coughed up three runs in just one inning.
And then lefty Mike Zagurski, called up to take Vance Worley’s roster spot, walked the opposing pitcher, gave up one run and another walk in just one inning. Zagurski has been given a plethora of chances in the Bigs over the years. But each time, despite doing well in the minors, he tanks as soon as he is called up.
The offense took the night off as well, apparently refusing to play with imposter aliens. The only excitement was when Domonic Brown and John Mayberry Jr. smacked back-to-back homers in the fifth.
So the Phils went down in flames by a score of 10-2…against the Nationals. Ugh. Well, tomorrow is another day and with any luck, the aliens have returned the real Cliff Lee and maybe will visit the Marlins or Braves next. ;o)
Lee Photo by Jenn Zambri Photography